2020 And Your Dog

For humankind, the end of 2020 is worthy of joy and celebration (socially distanced of course)! It is also (hopefully) the end of late-night supermarket toilet paper scuffles and smelly hand sanitizer applications. As we commemorate the end of this sad year, we must also honor the lives of those who were on the front lines of our foolishness. We must honor our dogs.

Bear Telicki, 4, learned from quarantine that family should be avoided at all costs. 

Before 2020, dogs like Bear would spend their days sleeping on couches and joyfully chewing on kibble. This would all change in mid-March 2020, when his elusive family decided to spend all their time in his house.

According to the humans, there was some deadly virus ravaging parts of the world, making Germ-X increasingly scarce, and causing the living room television to flash colorful graphs and number charts. Because of this bipedal bug, the government ordered all humans to seize the homes of their mutts. At first, everything seemed fine, until the first aspect of dog life was ruined: their television watching time.


The Storming of the TV

When Bear Telicki’s roommates used to leave the house everyday, he would often spend his time binge-watching his favorite shows, Seinfeld and Animal Planet. He could spend hours on the couch watching a good show while devouring a Milk-Bone. This would come to an end, though, when his people came home.

The humans commandeered his TV soon after taking over his couches. Bear thought he may be able to coexist with these people, but his efforts were in vain, as they clearly had little taste in their television. He was upset by the lack of canine models in Project Runway and the prevalence of large felines in the frightening Tiger King. This was a tough loss for Bear, but was the start of many more to come.


The Loss of Nap Time

Sleep was an important facet of Bear Telicki’s lifestyle, but was severely impacted by the establishment of humans in his household. When not receiving the election news from Anderson Cooper on CNN (or Sean Hannity on FOX – in some households), he would often get some shut-eye on the sofa. Unfortunately, though, this was yet another thing to be seized by his tenants.

Henry Telicki, stepbrother of Bear, quickly took control over his favorite couch. On Monday mornings, rather than a peacefully-snoozing dog on the couch, you would find a stinky adolescent man-child. Thus, prompting Bear’s deep dog dilemma that the stereotype of smelly dogs might be baseless. It also didn’t help that Henry also enjoyed blasting A-Ha’s “Take on Me” multiple times throughout the day. This would only be a prelude, though, to the worst part of quarantine.


The Rise of Doggy Sweaters

Bear Telicki was never a fan of clothing, and this wasn’t an issue when his family was not always home. He was free to walk around completely bare without judgement or punishment. His humans had other plans for him, though.

When Bear woke up in the morning without getting dressed, he didn’t expect or deserve the penalty that soon would follow. Offended by his state of undress, his stepsister Cate suited him in a sweater. Covered in hedgehog print and baby blue, his people called it “cute,” but this was very embarrassing for a dog like Bear. A dog of powerful masculinity, he would have preferred a leather jacket, but his inability to remove clothing and communicate effectively made this impossible. He was at the mercy of his family.

Though 2020 was also a tough year for people all over the world, it is important that we acknowledge the real heroes of this time: our canine companions. As we enter this new year, we should try to tend to their needs as much as possible, no matter how strange they are. They were one of the only things keeping us sane this whole time!