The fabric folding lawn chair made a crinkle as my Poppy and I sat on opposite sides of the campfire after pitching the tent. My two siblings and mother were away for the moment so it was nice just to be there, sat by the fire. The crackling of fire and the peepers chorusing in the distance were the only things I could hear. It was so nice to have some quiet after these past few months of chaos. 

The chaos mainly stemmed from the fact that the world went into a global pandemic. COVID-19 threw everyone’s lives off the rails and now we’re in this awkward area of time trying to figure out the safest way to live that is as normal as possible.

Two weeks before this, I finished my junior year of high school. This year was special though because after March 13th, my school was moved to online classes. After all the hardships that came along with that, being surrounded by nature for miles and miles the day before going on the biggest hike of my life was just what I had needed. My grandfather, we call him Poppy, and I have always been the outdoors type and I’m so happy with all the adventures we’ve had so far. I remember thinking that this trip would be the best one yet and I felt the excitement and anticipation in the camp. We camped out by the head of the ABol trail at the bottom of Mount Katahdin in Maine. My grandfather has done this hike at least 25 times and this time, he took my sister, brother, and I along with him. After sitting in the quiet for a bit, Poppy and I got to talking about the current situation with the world, aka what’s going on with the pandemic. 

“I’m so glad to be done with online school, it was so hard. I just hope my senior year isn’t like this,” I said while poking the fire with a stick.

“I hope so too kiddo. I don’t know what it’s going to be like in the fall but I hope things get better in the winter and I can come down to visit everyone. It’s so hard to live eight hours away from everyone in a regular year, now it’s much harder to go down to see you guys. I’m guessing it’s going to get harder,” Poppy replied.

He stared into the fire like he was thinking hard about something but I didn’t want to ask in case it was too personal. He would talk to me if he wanted to.

“It could be worse but I just miss you guys a lot up here,” Poppy said with a sigh.

“We miss you too Poppy and when this is all over, we’ll all go visit you in Eastport,” I said with a sad smile. This was the first time we’ve seen each other since the country shut down. There was still so much happening around us even though we have been kept apart, not only from each other but from the rest of our family. None of us knew what things were going to look like in the future.

“Why are you hoping just for the winter and not the fall?” I asked Poppy while glancing over the old style Volkswagen graphic shirt he was wearing. He seems to own a few of those showing the hippy van with peace signs. The fire was lighting it up as the sky was slowly darkening, getting ready for night.

“Well, I don’t know if you’ve heard yet, but Lindsay is Pregnant,” Poppy said and looked up at me with a sad expression. It was so different to see him like this because he is usually all smiles and hugs. It was slightly off putting seeing him so sad. The bugs buzzing in our ears filled the tense silence as I waited patiently for him to continue.

“And I don’t want to miss the birth of her first kid, my fourth grandchild. It’s been so hard for them and they just told me last month. Lindsay is due around Christmas Eve and I’m worried about what travel’s gonna look like. I can’t miss it, I just can’t.” The emotions he expressed while saying that hurt my heart. I never even thought about that when I heard the good news. Now I don’t know what kind of news I think it is…

I was at a loss for words. How does someone respond to that? What are the right words that could bring him some comfort? The empathy I had for him in this situation was leaking from my bones. Even though Auntie Lindsay isn’t his daughter biologically, he was a father figure for her since she was four. Poppy living in another state never posed this much of a restriction to him being there for our family.

“I wish I knew what to say, what to do to show you that things will be okay… My mom and us were able to come up here today. I’m sure in a few months when cases die down you’ll be able to come down to us. Maine only needed people over 18 to get tested 78 hours before we got here, I hope that’s all Massachusetts will require by then. You’ll make it, for sure.” I tried to comfort him but even the campfire could tell what a poor job I had done. No one knew what was going to happen these next few days, never mind the next few months. 

“Thanks sweetheart, I’m sure you’re right.” When Poppy said this, I could tell my words were appreciated because he knew I tried but he could only hope my words will hold true.

Having freshly turned 17, my sage advice had little time to mature and my wisdom level was just above a one out of a hundred. While he wasn’t seeking answers at the moment, I wished I had more experience so I could give him some peace of mind.

“I just can’t imagine what it would’ve been like to not be around when one of yous was born. I was one of the first people your mom and dad called when your mom was going into labor and I was one of the first people there. I dropped everything, boom, right away to be there for your mom. It’s impossible for me to picture missing Lindsay’s experience. Not being there will kill me.” Poppy said as he dropped his head on the back rest of the chair. He looked as if he was asking the first stars of the night to tell him the answer. 

If they told him, his expression didn’t show it.

“We must have hope that things will work out. This pandemic can’t last forever if people are doing the right thing. The best thing we can do right now is take care of ourselves and follow the safety guidelines in place now and those that will come. We need to protect ourselves as best we can to give you the best chance of being there for Auntie Lindsay.”

My oh so comforting support made Poppy raise his head up again and shoot me a smile. Even though he was still caught up in this saddening thought, he still tried to smile and reassure me things are going to be okay. Typical Poppy. Always looking out for others and making people happy. Even though this heavy topic was like a cloud over us, we spent the next half hour gazing up at the cloudless sky past the trees and talking about which constellations we could see and name. 

That was the Poppy that I knew, the one everyone saw. That conversation allowed me to see and experience another side of Poppy, a side that shows how really human he is. He has always been a superhuman figure to me, someone always there with support and stories. Having that conversation didn’t make him any less super but it showed me how… alike we are as people. How he isn’t above the bad things with this pandemic, how no one is.