When September 1st rolls around and the air starts to smell like pumpkin, Sixpence None The Richers’ Kiss Me” is playing on my AirPods religiously, and “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” is playing on my TV there is nothing that can taint my mood. It is pure fall bliss. 

On one beautiful Autumn day not too long ago, the leaves were blowing, I had an apple cider donut in my hand, and I was checking my mailbox to look for my new uggs. I opened my mailbox when all of a sudden the sky grew dark. What was previously an innocent fall day, turned dreadful in seconds.

BOOM. The world went dark, and the faint sound of leaves crunching was fading away. All I could hear was the sound of boulders rolling down a mountain. What happened? Am I dead? That would have been a better scenario than the devastating fate I opened my eyes to.

Acorns.

A mass of acorns had fallen from the tree and hit me in the head. Heave my warning, when you least expect it, the blood-curling monsters will strike. In the car getting driving to school? BOOM. Taking your dog for a walk? BOOM. Running laps at practice? BOOM. Nowhere is safe.

The Squirrel from Ice Age “Scrat” knew what he was doing when he was trying to get the last acorn. They are killing machines. The heart-attack-inducing sound that comes from when an acorn hits your car can wipe out villages.

The serial killer you think is following you on the narrow ominous trail in the woods has a name. Its name is Acorn. Now having barely escaped death I want to raise awareness of the silent killers hiding in the shadows. If the pointy end of the acorn had hit me it would have been game over.

In all seriousness though, please be careful when driving in the fall because falling acorns can dent your car, scare you, and distract you from the road. Stay safe and light that pumpkin spice candle!