Chappell Roan’s popularity skyrocketed when her single “Good Luck, Babe” dropped in April. People began to notice her as an upcoming queer pop artist. Her songs were being used all over social media. People were obsessing over her. For the rest of this spring and summer, she gained a lot of traction and recognition. People adored her.

It seems that people rise to fame quickly these days. Celebrities that are made popular so fast tend to go through a cycle. They do something, in this case put out a new song, that makes them totally blow up. Then, people start to hold them up on a pedestal and begin to have unrealistic expectations for them. Often, when these celebrities don’t live up to that, their “fans” tear them back down again and discard them. Then they find another person and the cycle repeats. It is tiring, honestly, trying to keep up with who the media likes one day and who they hate the next.

Chappell Roan was unfortunate enough to become a victim to this cycle. She isn’t the first and surely won’t be the last. She absolutely deserves the recognition that she got, but it gave her attention from the wrong people. 

In August, she posted a series of TikToks stating her boundaries and an Instagram post with further elaboration. She didn’t want to have fans interact with her outside of work. “When I’m on stage, when I’m performing, when I’m in drag, when I’m at a work event, when I’m doing press…I am at work,” she stated on Instagram. In any other circumstance, she wasn’t working. Therefore, she doesn’t want to take pictures, give autographs, etc. 

The reasoning for her initial statement on TikTok was because she had been harassed by a fan for a picture in public. She also shared that she had a stalker from her hometown that had gone so far as to find her family’s home and show up to her hotel room. On top of that, according to The Hollywood Reporter, a man at an airport had gotten increasingly aggressive while insisting Roan signed an autograph. Police had to intervene. Another reported incident involves a fan coming up to her while she was in public with friends and kissing her.

We live in an age where parasocial relationships are commonly formed. Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships where one person will give their emotions, time, and energy to another person that has no clue of the first’s existence. This typically happens with celebrities. With the uprise of social media, these relationships have become much more common and have evolved. Social media provides a near-constant interaction with one’s favorite celebrity. It allows for more interaction, more communication, and more intimacy. Some of these fans begin to feel as if they know the celebrity on a personal level. 

Roan setting her boundaries earned her a lot of backlash. People were insistent that someone who couldn’t handle the public just should not be a celebrity. But why? Why is it a celebrity’s fault for what the public does? I feel that we as fans tend to forget our favorite singers and actors are human just like us. They are not obligated to put up with being uncomfortable for our sake. It’s not fair to them. Maybe you’ll say that being uncomfortable is part of the job, it’s part of every job, but sacrificing bits and pieces of oneself to make others happy is never healthy. Not even for a celebrity.

People seem to think that because someone is famous, they’re allowed to step all over them and ask for anything and everything. Again, just because we don’t know them on a personal level doesn’t mean that they aren’t people with personal lives and feelings and boundaries. Celebrities shouldn’t have to tolerate harassment and stalking for the sake of keeping a fanbase.

It’s reasonable for Roan to want her private life separate from her public life. She doesn’t want to be interacted with outside of her work, she doesn’t want to be touched or have people be weird, and she doesn’t want to be addressed by the name Kayleigh. It really shouldn’t be a huge ask. 

It isn’t like she went into the industry wanting to be stalked and harassed and met with aggression. She even stated that she was making music because it was enjoyable for her. “I accept the success of the project, the love I feel, and the gratitude I have. What I do not accept are creepy people, being touched, and being followed.”

It was described by Roan as a woman going out wearing a short skirt and being catcalled. But when she doesn’t like it, she’s told she shouldn’t have worn the skirt in the first place. The blame gets placed on the woman, not the offender. Not the person who made the mistake. 

Multiple other stars have contacted her privately giving tips and offering condolences. Most being female pop stars, but a handful of men too. Of the few men that reached out to her was Elton John. In The Hollywood Reporter’s article, he stated, “I am very protective of her. She is kind, innocent, and wonderful. She is not ‘Chappell Roan’ offstage – a bit like me.”

To hate Chappell Roan for setting her boundaries is unfair. To say she isn’t suited for fame isn’t true. She is good at what she does and being able to keep a firm line between her public and private self is honorable. There is no doubt in my mind that adjusting to such a level of fame is not easy.