On a random weekday in March, my friend told me to just stop worrying and to stop thinking so much, but that’s impossible for me. Every day, I wake up and I’m already worrying. I’m already worrying about the plan for the day, but sometimes, suddenly, I get to thinking of any dreadful scenario that could happen.
The “What Ifs” are endless. What if my dad’s car breaks down on the way to school? What if my friends secretly despise me? What if I trip in Four Corners? These are just a few examples of the thoughts that race through my mind 24/7.
A never-ending cycle that continues from when I start my day to when I end my day. It can be so distracting. I can hardly focus on the school work I have yet to get to, let alone the chores I have been assigned. The thoughts are distracting, inescapable, and draining.
I often wonder if people deal with the same thoughts I do. If I’m dealing with this, what battles could other people be facing? I’ve learned to be grateful; without these thoughts, I wouldn’t be as empathetic and understanding as I am. I wouldn’t be able to imagine myself in other people’s shoes without these thoughts.
Everyone has challenges they are secretly facing and inescapable thoughts running through their heads. Sometimes, it takes all this thinking to realize there is so much more to life than just our thoughts. You have no idea what someone is going through – the secret challenges they’re facing.
I sometimes find myself wishing I could be more like my peers, who seem so calm and collected. It’s almost as if they have no cares in the world. But then I realize that I don’t want to be like anyone else. I don’t want to be seen as nonchalant.
I want to be me.
I want to be seen as someone caring, thoughtful, and full of personality. I want to be known as different and one of a kind, not snobby and pretending to be someone I am not. I want to be the light for people when all they see is dark.
So, if my thoughts want to race, let the race begin. They are part of me.
